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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.

Dorothy Parker

You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Responsibility Yourself
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Quick Vice
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Easy Love People Sweet Yourself
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER

Excitement Fortune Irritation
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Myself Word Writing
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Mom Pregnant Yourself
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Girl Man Wear
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Happiness History Human Willing
The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Earth Fools Love Man Woman
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
DOROTHY PARKER

Boredom Elegant Manner Right
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Clothes Fashion Party Yourself
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Challenge Honesty Survive Test Yourself
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance Death Drink Laughter
There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Around Charm Done Stop
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Clean Dirty Hands Nature Play Target Yourself
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER

Break Friendship Time

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.

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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.

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Popular Authors

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