I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.
DICK CAVETTEvery comic can report a few ‘gift from the gods’ moments.
More Dick Cavett Quotes
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The trick to writing for people is, you have to be able to turn them on in your head. And know how they’d word something or how they’d inflect it.
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I’m not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn’t really bother me.
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Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.
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Unpleasant reading on the subject of anger tells us that there’s not really anything wrong with it. In limited amounts. It can even be a good thing. A pressure valve.
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I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you’re hungry for power.
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Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
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When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.
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I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
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I’ve actually gotten so I don’t associate television with entertainment very much.
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The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that’s long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.
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My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.
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I haven’t ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.
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Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it’s hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to be what you are.
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As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
DICK CAVETT