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Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.

Dick Cavett

I’m not all that enthralled by show business, and I’m not that much of a highbrow.
DICK CAVETT

Business Myself
Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don’t happen.
DICK CAVETT

Chance Coincidence Thinking
Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.
DICK CAVETT

Food Myself Reach Time
When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
DICK CAVETT

Appearance Count Death Show Talk Yourself
It’s a tribute to the human brain that anyone is able to function out there on television in a talk situation that is entirely artificial.
DICK CAVETT

Artificial Function Human Situation Tribute
My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.
DICK CAVETT

Achievement Dreams Myself Night Someday
I don’t see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty – and evaporating quickly.
DICK CAVETT

Bright Empty Evaporate Future Language Myself Quick
If your parents never had children, chances are neither will you.
DICK CAVETT

Children Parents Yourself
I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
DICK CAVETT

Advantage Laughter Myself Night Stand Work
It’s not always easy to identify your own voice. It comes with time.
DICK CAVETT

Easy Identify Time Voice Yourself
I hate Danny Kaye movies.
DICK CAVETT

Hate Movie Myself
If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.
DICK CAVETT

Campaign Comedy Myself Pizza Run Talent Wisdom Young
Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.
DICK CAVETT

Beyond Criticism Death Declare Escape Reproach
A grown man, weeping, is a tough thing to see.
DICK CAVETT

Growth Man See Tough
Coming up through the ranks of any calling can be rough, but that battered soul who survives the early years of courting the comic muse comes close to knowing what only the soldier knows: What combat is like.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Court Early Known Rank Rough Survive
I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
DICK CAVETT

Funny Myself People

Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.

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Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.

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