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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

Now, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.

Brad Williams

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  I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It’s a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.

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• 

  Every now and then you’ll say something that didn’t quite work. But the important thing is, as a comic, you try to learn why it didn’t. And then you adjust and figure out how to either make it work or just abandon it because it’s just not funny.

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  That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.

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  I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.

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  If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.

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  I don’t know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It’s very confusing to me.

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  When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”

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  I admire ventriloquists, because I can’t do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can’t do what they do.

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  There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.

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  In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.

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  Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to – everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.

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  I don’t know why you’d go to a comedian and say, “You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.”

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  There are things that I won’t joke about, but it’s not because I don’t think they’re funny or they can’t be made funny. It’s just that they don’t fit my particular skill set.

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  It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.

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  It’s weird when people ask me, “Why are you so nice?” It’s like, “Because that’s just what you should do. You should be kind to people.” It seems really basic, but it’s amazing how many people forget that.

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