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I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

Boris Johnson

As a Scot Gordon Brown will find it hard to convince people in England he should be prime minister.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country England People Prime
I lead a life of blameless domesticity and always have done.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blame Leadership Life Myself
My ideal world is, we’re there, we’re in the EU, trying to make it better.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ideals Trying World
Life isn’t like coursework, baby. It’s one damn essay crisis after another.
BORIS JOHNSON

Crisis Essay Life Oneself
We should celebrate immigrants and everything they do for our country.
BORIS JOHNSON

Celebration Country Immigrant Ourselves
But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
BORIS JOHNSON

Hands People Swim
I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.
BORIS JOHNSON

Enemy Myself Rival
We did everything we could to break down barriers that restrain poorest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Barriers Break Breaking Down
I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
BORIS JOHNSON

Facts Icing Thinking
What Hitler did in his concentration camps was equalled if not exceeded in foulness by the Soviet gulags, forced starvation and pogroms.
BORIS JOHNSON

Forced Foulness Pogrom Soviet Starvation
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cycling Law Ubiquity
This is a super masticated subject, and it is time to spit it out.
BORIS JOHNSON

Scorn Spit Subjects
London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world, ping pong is coming home.
BORIS JOHNSON

Capital Home Myself Sports World
I’m no communist. I’m a tax cutting Conservative. But I want a capitalism that is fairer to forgotten people.
BORIS JOHNSON

Communism Conservatism Forget People Tax
What makes the achievements of communist Russia so special and different, that you can simper around in a CCCP T-shirt, while anyone demented enough to wear anything commemorating the Third Reich would be speedily banged away under the 1986 Public Order Act?
BORIS JOHNSON

Achievement Commemorating Country Demented Wear
London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world, ping pong is coming home.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Home Ping Pong

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

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I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

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