Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITQuit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITI’m against gun control. It’s not that I like guns, it’s just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other’s heads off.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITStand-up was interesting to me at the beginning, because I was trying to parody it. My early stand-up was really Andy Kaufman-esque, and then I became the very thing I was making fun of.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITAmerica’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITIn fact, with Michael Jackson, I think those mourning people… They aren’t even waking Michael, they’re waking the Michael Jackson of ’84.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITWe don’t really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows.”
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITIf you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITHow can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that’s who I am.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITKurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITIn my first stand-up acts there wasn’t material even. You know, I’d go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd – and it’s what interested me as a comedian.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITWhen I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn’t get a job and I couldn’t eat meat.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITFame is like a big eraser. It’s strange, now that I’m famous. In my parents’ opinion, all the shitty things – all the wreckage of my past – is erased.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITDon’t hoo, hoo, hoo me. There’s a fine line between hoo, hoo, hoo and hiel, hiel, hiel.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITI can smell parents’ stomach acid right now, but they know that whole “You gotta get a job and you gotta settle for what people perceive as success” thing is really absurd.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITWithout getting too profound, I’m pretty sure that’s where the invention of the afterlife comes from. “
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITGo on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don’t you gimme some damn chicken?
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT