If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITHow can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that’s who I am.
More Bobcat Goldthwait Quotes
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They never were given a chance to give their respects to the death of the guy they loved back in ’84.
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I can smell parents’ stomach acid right now, but they know that whole “You gotta get a job and you gotta settle for what people perceive as success” thing is really absurd.
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We don’t really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows.”
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Don’t hoo, hoo, hoo me. There’s a fine line between hoo, hoo, hoo and hiel, hiel, hiel.
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When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn’t get a job and I couldn’t eat meat.
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I lost my job, well I didn’t lose it, I know where it is, there’s just some other guy doing it now.
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That’s human nature – we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable.
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In fact, with Michael Jackson, I think those mourning people… They aren’t even waking Michael, they’re waking the Michael Jackson of ’84.
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I’m against gun control. It’s not that I like guns, it’s just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other’s heads off.
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Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird.
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Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.
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Fame is like a big eraser. It’s strange, now that I’m famous. In my parents’ opinion, all the shitty things – all the wreckage of my past – is erased.
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America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
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Without getting too profound, I’m pretty sure that’s where the invention of the afterlife comes from. “
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In my first stand-up acts there wasn’t material even. You know, I’d go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd – and it’s what interested me as a comedian.
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