“Phil Niekro and his brother were pitching against each other in Atlanta. Their parents were sitting right behind home plate.”

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career – anything for a laugh.

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.

How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up.

We were on for six years. We were in syndication for a while. It had its run. I still see the people from ‘Mr. Belvedere,’ too. We stay in touch.

When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.

If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to?

I didn’t get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

Baseball hasn’t forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven’t lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.

I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn’t have that kinda money to put out.

I hope the fans have enjoyed listening as much as I’ve enjoyed doing the games. I don’t ever go to the park where I don’t have a good day.

After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else.

You throw batting practice, you warm up pitchers, you sit and cheer. You do whatever you have to do to stay on the team.

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

Hey, I think it’s easy for guys to hit .300 and stay in the big leagues. Hit .200 and try to stick around as long as I did; I think it’s a much greater accomplishment. That’s hard.

I think I set a terrific example of ‘Don’t do this’ and ‘Don’t do that.’ And that’s one of the things that I’m most proud of.

When we are confronted by failure and mistakes, we can leave them behind and go on with our lives.

Fashion: a barricade behind which men hide their nothingness.

Satire is, more than those he brands, to blame; He hides behind a magisterial air He own offences, and strips others’ bare.

A farmer’s horse is never lame, never unfit to go. Never throws out curbs, never breaks down before or behind.

All we can take with us to heaven is what we leave behind in the lives we touch.

Landscapes can be deceptive. Sometimes a landscape seems to be less a setting for the life of its inhabitants than a curtain behind which their struggles, achievements and accidents takes place.

Leaving behind the false, return to the true: make no discriminations between self and others. In contemplation, one’s mind should be stable and unmoving, like a wall.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, But trust him for his grace; Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face.