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You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year… unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

Bob Uecker

After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else.
BOB UECKER

Anything Baseball Else Get Go Service Want
I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel’s suitcase.
BOB UECKER

Bring Came Grand Manager Out People Slam Suitcase
Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.
BOB UECKER

Company Endorse Good Product Sport
I used to soak my mitts in a bucket of water for about two days. Then I’d put a couple of baseballs in the pocket and wrap it up with a rubber band.
BOB UECKER

Band Baseball Bucket Couple Day Mitts Rub Soak Two Use Water Wrap
Baseball hasn’t forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven’t lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.
BOB UECKER

Baseball Bullpen Game Just Lost Old People Thing Throw Time Timer
He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud.
BOB UECKER

Car Error Gosh Made Parent Proud Really Show Something Struck Think
I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.
BOB UECKER

Baseball Came Career Knew Out Picture
I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn’t have that kinda money to put out.
BOB UECKER

Bonus Kinda Modest Money Old Out People Sign
Career highlights? I had two – I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.
BOB UECKER

Career Highlight Intention Met People Rundown Two
I didn’t get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.
BOB UECKER

Award Country Get Lot Once People Player
I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career – anything for a laugh.
BOB UECKER

Anything Career Ignorant Laugh Stand Stuff Weird
We were on for six years. We were in syndication for a while. It had its run. I still see the people from ‘Mr. Belvedere,’ too. We stay in touch.
BOB UECKER

People See Six Stay Still Syndication Touch Year
I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don’t even get printed.
BOB UECKER

Equaled Fact Get never Print Record Set
Not bragging by any means, but I could have done a lot of other stuff as far as working in films go and working in television…
BOB UECKER

Brag Done Film Lot Mean Stuff Television Work
Let’s face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can’t resist.
BOB UECKER

Close Explain Face Happy Make Need Resist Suffer Umpiring
Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.
BOB UECKER

Ability Able Anybody Big Feat Great League Out People Trick Way
I saw their folks more that day than they did the whole weekend.
BOB UECKER

Day Folk More Saw Weekend Whole
Depending on the weight and model I was using at that time – I would say eight to 10 cookouts.
BOB UECKER

Cookout Depend Eight Model Ten Time Use Weight
People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn’t hit a lot, how long a dozen bats would last me.
BOB UECKER

Ask Bat Hit Last Lot People Time
Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball?
BOB UECKER

Baseball Where Without
I don’t like losing. But I don’t think I ever go to the park where I have a bad day. I don’t think once.
BOB UECKER

Bad Day Ever Go Like Lose Once Park Think
When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team’s dugout and they were already in street clothes.
BOB UECKER

Already Came Cloth Dugout Look Men Ninth Street Team
I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players’ equipment.
BOB UECKER

Ca Equipment Made Maybe Me Player Salary Sell Think Top
I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it’s never at the expense of the other guy.
BOB UECKER

Expense Find Fun Guy Humor Other Situation Thing Try
If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to?
BOB UECKER

Every Forward Guy Hit Hundred Look Three Year
You throw batting practice, you warm up pitchers, you sit and cheer. You do whatever you have to do to stay on the team.
BOB UECKER

Bat Cheer Picher Practice Stay Team Warm Whatever
Sure, women sportswriters look when they’re in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?
BOB UECKER

Captain Clubhouse Explain Middle Raed Sportswriter Story Sure Women Word

You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year… unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

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You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year… unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

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