“If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to?”

I was acting when I was playing baseball.

You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year… unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud.

The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game.

Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball?

Before broadcasting for 50-some years, I did TV, played 10 years in the big leagues, won a world championship – and played a big part in that, too, letting the Cardinals inject me with hepatitis. Takes a big man to do that.

Sure, women sportswriters look when they’re in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?

I spent three of the best years of my life in 10th grade.

I had chances to do that stuff, but I like baseball, I really do.

I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes.

I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn’t appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though.

I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players’ equipment.

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it’s never at the expense of the other guy.

Let’s face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can’t resist.

I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff.

Not bragging by any means, but I could have done a lot of other stuff as far as working in films go and working in television…

I believe in the right of every parent to choose whether his child shall be educated in the public school or in a religious school supported by those of his own faith.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

They do everything from gangsta rap to polka music and every genre in between. It’s amazing.

I’ll bet every great thinker and leader we’ve got Could see all kinds of things other people could not!

You grow up real quick, a half-Mexican in a sailor’s suit, because I’d be riding the streetcar to school everyday.

In the ’80s, I was putting out an album virtually every year, I think mostly based on fear – that if I didn’t, people would soon forget about me.

Almost every cartoonist, when he’s sitting down to draw a funny face.

I probably write a poem every 50 years.