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Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.

Bob Saget

What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET

Car Girlfriend Kitchen
I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
BOB SAGET

Anymore Dirty Laughing People Stuff
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET

Attack Cauterize Done People
I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Dirty Nuts Show Shows Television
The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Interesting Thinking
They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
BOB SAGET

Closer Enemies Say
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET

Realizing Sometimes Wish
I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
BOB SAGET

Acting Fun People
There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET

Country People Two Wii
The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGET

Squirrels Way Yards
I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
BOB SAGET

Aristocracy Guy Kids
When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
BOB SAGET

Hurt Love Pain Someone
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET

Hurt Laughing People
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
BOB SAGET

Country Definitely People Showed
If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET

Car Die Kids Saving Want

Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.

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Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Saget Quotes