Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGETSundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
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Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
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My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
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It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
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The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
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If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
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I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET