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It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.

Bob Saget

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
BOB SAGET

Behind Every Great Man Men Prison
When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
BOB SAGET

Hurt Love Pain Someone
It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGET

Make People Think Thinking
I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
BOB SAGET

Causes Drink Fighting
Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
BOB SAGET

Girl Met Reasonable Told
At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGET

Day End Over Time
I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
BOB SAGET

Aristocracy Guy Kids
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
BOB SAGET

Fake Politics Sincerity
The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
BOB SAGET

Hands Selfish Trying
The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Interesting Thinking
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET

Attack Cauterize Done People
My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET

Mom Thinking Today Told
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET

Friend Learn Lying

It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.

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It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Saget Quotes