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I can still enjoy sex at 74 – I live at 75, so it’s no distance.

Bob Monkhouse

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot’s ribs and demanded: ‘Take me to the canaries’.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Cat Funny Humor
I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Clubs Home Real
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Sex Wife Years
I’d never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny House Marriage Wife
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Father Funny Humor
When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?
BOB MONKHOUSE

Boards Drawing Inventor
I know I’m a sinner, but make me a winner!
BOB MONKHOUSE

Knows Sinner Winner
I can still enjoy sex at 74 – I live at 75, so it’s no distance.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Distance Funny Sex
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Mom Mother
I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Sex
Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Life
I’ll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven’t done something even mildly creative.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Creative Done Want
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Clever Funny Smart
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Feet Funny Humor
I got my start in silent radio.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Radio
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Guarantee Humor

I can still enjoy sex at 74 – I live at 75, so it’s no distance.

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I can still enjoy sex at 74 – I live at 75, so it’s no distance.

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