Where are all the sour patch parents?
BO BURNHAMTwitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
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I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
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I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
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Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
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The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
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