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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.

Bo Burnham

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Belief Funny Humor
I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
BO BURNHAM

About Caution Real Things Understand
Love is all about… whistles.
BO BURNHAM

About Love Whistle
I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Fans People
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
BO BURNHAM

Believe Cousin Gay
Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
BO BURNHAM

Brain Challenges Emotional
The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
BO BURNHAM

Dark Laughing Light
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Guy Humor
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Locks Safe
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor School
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
BO BURNHAM

Beautiful Distance Funny
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Funny Humor
For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Levels Unexpected
I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
BO BURNHAM

Bored Half Needs Overstimulated Scene

Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.

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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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