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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Bo Burnham

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
BO BURNHAM

Anything Book Good Pussy
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAM

Average Person Tube
I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
BO BURNHAM

Simple Stuff Trying
Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Toes Women
I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
BO BURNHAM

Actually Conversation Open Say
Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
BO BURNHAM

Best Laughter Medicine
Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Enjoy Fun
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
BO BURNHAM

Comforter Funny Humor
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Guy Humor
I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
BO BURNHAM

Bears Beliefs Bipolar Mets
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Grow Kids Song
Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Poverty Racism
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM

Love Perfect Trying You
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
BO BURNHAM

Country Funny Gay Humor Meet Time

Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.

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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.

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