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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

Bo Burnham

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Guy Humor
The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
BO BURNHAM

Eras Golden Thinking
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAM

Average Person Tube
I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
BO BURNHAM

Math Philosophy School
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
BO BURNHAM

Country Funny Gay Humor Meet Time
I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
BO BURNHAM

Bears Beliefs Bipolar Mets
The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM

Anyone Otherwise Smooth Talker Tell
The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
BO BURNHAM

Firsts Forever Wikipedia
Where are all the sour patch parents?
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Parent
For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Levels Unexpected
I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
BO BURNHAM

Country Feminist People Rights Thinking
Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
BO BURNHAM

Bible Jesus Kindness
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
BO BURNHAM

Dollars Long Pussy
Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
BO BURNHAM

Country Guy Impression People
Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
BO BURNHAM

Brain Challenges Emotional

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

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