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Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

Bill Watterson

Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!
BILL WATTERSON

Really Running Stupid
We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Science
One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what’s going on in Calvin’s head.
BILL WATTERSON

Fantasies Head Realistically Since
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Guess Moving School
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
BILL WATTERSON

Disappointment Friendship Harder Swearing
I’ve got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.
BILL WATTERSON

Common Ignore Plenty Sense
Now if a joke is in bad taste or it’s not funny, okay, that’s awhole different thing, but how you craft a joke is really what the writer’s job is, and I don’t think that technique should be subject to any editorial constraints.
BILL WATTERSON

Craft Different Editorial Joke Taste Technique
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
As “Calvin and Hobbes” went on, the writing pushed the drawings into greater complexity.
BILL WATTERSON

Drawing Reality Writing
Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.
BILL WATTERSON

Built Character Regretted
I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
BILL WATTERSON

Idea Packing Percent Prostituted
[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Scrabble Vowels
I’m a misunderstood genius.” “What’s misunderstood?” “Nobody thinks I’m a genius.
BILL WATTERSON

Genius Misunderstood Thinking
It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
BILL WATTERSON

Incinerated People Religious
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
BILL WATTERSON

Contact None Sometimes Think Universe

Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

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Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

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Popular Authors

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