Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.
BILL WATTERSONI try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
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We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
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Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
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So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
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Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
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Scientific Progress goes boink?
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One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what’s going on in Calvin’s head.
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In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
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Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.
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With each decision, we tell ourselves and the world who we are. Think about what you want out of this life, and recognize that there are many kinds of success.
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Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
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Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
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History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
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It’s going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn’t know anything but what it’s seen on TV.
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I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
BILL WATTERSON