Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
BILL WATTERSONCalvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.
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Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
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Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!
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I can never enjoy Sundays, because in the back of my mind I always know I’ve got to go to school the next day. It’s like trying to enjoy your last meal before the execution.
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Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.
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You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
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Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
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There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
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Suddenly, we realize our time in here is fleeting. Is our quick experience here pointless?
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You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.
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My problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
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So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
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Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
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History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
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Even when you look for it, you’re never prepared for it.
BILL WATTERSON