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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Bill Watterson

What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You’re ignorant, but at least you act on it.
BILL WATTERSON

Afford Ignorant Knowledge Least Paralyzing
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
BILL WATTERSON

Cute Funny Life Stars
If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.
BILL WATTERSON

Reason Volume Winning
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
Reading goes faster if you don’t sweat comprehension.
BILL WATTERSON

Faster Reading Sweat
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
I’m learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework…procrastinating and negotiation.
BILL WATTERSON

Homework Negotiation Procrastinating Skills Use
Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!
BILL WATTERSON

Really Running Stupid
If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
BILL WATTERSON

Butter Control Funny Life Peanut
There are no restrictions of taste, approach, or subject matter. The gatekeepers are gone, so the prospect for new and different voices is exciting. Or at least it will be if anyone reads them.
BILL WATTERSON

Different Gatekeepers Gone Prospects Voice
Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Kings Mom Nice People Think
It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
BILL WATTERSON

Incinerated People Religious
Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Mom Peas Plan Sorry
I’m a misunderstood genius.” “What’s misunderstood?” “Nobody thinks I’m a genius.
BILL WATTERSON

Genius Misunderstood Thinking
On the other hand, the mass media is disintegrating, and audiences are atomizing. I suspect comics will have less widespread cultural impact and make a lot less money.
BILL WATTERSON

Cultural Disintegrating Impact Less Money

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

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