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Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

Bill Watterson

If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
BILL WATTERSON

Butter Control Funny Life Peanut
Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!
BILL WATTERSON

Really Running Stupid
With each decision, we tell ourselves and the world who we are. Think about what you want out of this life, and recognize that there are many kinds of success.
BILL WATTERSON

Decision Kind Ourselves Recognize
Sleepwalking?” “Nightmare?” “Homicidal psycho jungle cat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cat Nightmare Psycho
I’M SIGNIFICANT!!! … Say’s the dust speck.
BILL WATTERSON

Dust Say Significant Specks
I let my mind wander and it didn’t come back.
BILL WATTERSON

Bumper Funny Mind Sticker Wander
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.
BILL WATTERSON

Good Luck Lucky Rockets
You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
BILL WATTERSON

Humans Pride Source
I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.
BILL WATTERSON

Kids Publication School Yearbook
It’s surprising how hard we’ll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Hard Surprising
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
BILL WATTERSON

Command Information Thorough Useless
Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
BILL WATTERSON

Delusion Faces Life People Preposterous
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
BILL WATTERSON

Dark Imagine Thinking
I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!
BILL WATTERSON

Dessert Food Funny Vegetarian
Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
BILL WATTERSON

Drugs Missing Rooms Trashed

Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

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Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

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Popular Authors

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