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Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Bill Watterson

The whole idea of hobknobbing and schmoozing and the concept of an “elite” class of celebrities better than the common people has always made my stomach turn.
BILL WATTERSON

Celebrities Class Common Ideas People
I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.
BILL WATTERSON

Hate Point Stories Thinking
Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
BILL WATTERSON

Beans Place Someday Stupid Thinking
I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
BILL WATTERSON

Actually Artist Quality Smoke Tell
Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
BILL WATTERSON

Dance Hard Maybe Number Special Tell
In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
BILL WATTERSON

Culture Excess Good Life
My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
BILL WATTERSON

Lips Moving Thinking
So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
BILL WATTERSON

Graduation Real World
Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Other Real Zombie
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Sarcastic
In the right hands, a comic strip attains a beauty and elegance that, really, I would put against any other art.
BILL WATTERSON

Art Book Comics Hands
Once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
BILL WATTERSON

Appreciate Late Miracle
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary
As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulations Forever Long
If you’ve ever compared a film to a novel it’s based on, you know the novel gets bludgeoned. It’s inevitable, because different media have different strengths and needs, and when you make a movie, the movie’s needs get served.
BILL WATTERSON

Different Inevitable Media Needs
We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
BILL WATTERSON

Desire Life Positive

Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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Popular Authors

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