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Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Bill Watterson

The whole idea of hobknobbing and schmoozing and the concept of an “elite” class of celebrities better than the common people has always made my stomach turn.
BILL WATTERSON

Celebrities Class Common Ideas People
Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Ecstasy Enough
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Jobs Meaningful
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
On the other hand, the mass media is disintegrating, and audiences are atomizing. I suspect comics will have less widespread cultural impact and make a lot less money.
BILL WATTERSON

Cultural Disintegrating Impact Less Money
Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
BILL WATTERSON

Change Different Funny Life
Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
BILL WATTERSON

Enough Undead Zombie
I’d hate to have a kid like me.
BILL WATTERSON

Hate Kids Like
What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
BILL WATTERSON

Body School Spirit
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.
BILL WATTERSON

Good Luck Lucky Rockets
I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
BILL WATTERSON

Autopsy Bigs Mouths People
Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement.
BILL WATTERSON

Creating Good Life Thinking
Now if a joke is in bad taste or it’s not funny, okay, that’s awhole different thing, but how you craft a joke is really what the writer’s job is, and I don’t think that technique should be subject to any editorial constraints.
BILL WATTERSON

Craft Different Editorial Joke Taste Technique
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
BILL WATTERSON

Invention Mother Motherhood
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
BILL WATTERSON

Dark Imagine Thinking

Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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Popular Authors

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