I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!
BILL WATTERSONMs. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
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Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
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Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
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Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.
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Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I’m looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I’ll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What’s your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.
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It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
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You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.
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Buttons … check. Dials … check. Switches … check. Little colored lights … check.
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I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word ‘booger’ in a newspaper comic strip.
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Mothers are the necessity of invention.
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I’m learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework…procrastinating and negotiation.
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Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
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If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
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So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
BILL WATTERSON