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You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.

Bill Watterson

Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Other Real Zombie
I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
BILL WATTERSON

Idea Packing Percent Prostituted
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Giving Hilarious
Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Opiates Television
If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
BILL WATTERSON

Butter Control Funny Life Peanut
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
BILL WATTERSON

Dark Imagine Thinking
A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSON

Color Crayon Order Perfect Pointy
I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Ideas Recognizing Success Trying
You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
BILL WATTERSON

Body School Spirit
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.
BILL WATTERSON

Grow Up Ideas People
What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON

Cheat Game Idiotic Lose Play Sneaky Some Undermanned
Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
BILL WATTERSON

Delusion Faces Life People Preposterous
The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Motivational Truth
Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
BILL WATTERSON

Beautiful Grow Up Thinking
We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
BILL WATTERSON

Decision Desire Motivational Ourselves Thinking
Now if a joke is in bad taste or it’s not funny, okay, that’s awhole different thing, but how you craft a joke is really what the writer’s job is, and I don’t think that technique should be subject to any editorial constraints.
BILL WATTERSON

Craft Different Editorial Joke Taste Technique

You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.

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You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.

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