Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
BILL MURRAYAlcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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And I don’t like to work. I only like working when I’m working.
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When I feel like I’m stuck, I do something – not like I’m Mother Teresa or anything, but there’s someone that’s forgotten about in your life, all the time. Someone that could use an ‘Attaboy’ or a ‘How you doin’ out there.
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You say, “Do you want a piece of this movie?” And he’s got to sell this movie to get his money back. That’s the brains of it; that’s the genius of this financing. “You want Germany? Give us a million dollars and you’ve got Germany.”
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I’d like [Santa Claus] to give Wes Anderson, the director, enough money in his next budget for an aerial shot – just a little copter shot. He really wanted this one helicopter shot, and Disney wouldn’t give him the money. Just wouldn’t give him the money.
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When I was a little kid playing baseball, my manager called me Sleepy. And only a few people, who know me from way, way back, call me that still. I used to drift off and that’s why they made me the catcher, so I wouldn’t fall asleep. That gift I have still.
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And when I told my sons I might be in City of Ember, they said, ‘Oh! You’re gonna be the mayor?’ And I hadn’t even read the script yet.
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The cell will completely collapse and become nothing. That’s kind of what it’s like being famous. People say hi, how are you doing, and after the thousandth time, you just get angry; you really pop.
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Like: ‘Don’t walk out there with one hand in your pocket unless there’s somethin’ in there you’re going to bring out.’ You gotta commit. You’ve gotta go out there and improvise and you’ve gotta be completely unafraid to die.
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Afghanistan is just one of those countries that no group can conquer. It’s so challenging to live, and the people are so close among their own tribes, their own groups, that you can’t rule them all, you can’t get an accord from all of them.
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I would jump into the middle of the street and say, “excuse me, there’s a Mercedes that’s got to get through here.” And I would push people out of the way, “get out of the way! Let him through!” Smacking their cars and stuff. Just like, “whack” and you just jump into it.
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You know…they say an elephant never forgets. What they don’t tell you is, you never forget an elephant.
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I wanted to be a doctor once upon a time, but it turns out you’ve got to study, and that wasn’t going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had trouble holding jobs because they want you to be on time. That wasn’t going to work.
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So far, I’ve only sailed in the Caribbean. I’ve sailed the Virgin Island and The Grenadines. I liked all that. We charted some really crummy boats in the Grenadines. That made for an exciting sailing trip (laughs) when everything goes well.
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You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.
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The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.
BILL MURRAY