Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it’s usually something unusual.
BILL MURRAYAlcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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To people who want to be rich and famous, I’d say, “Get rich first and see if that doesn’t cover it.”
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Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
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My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses
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I don’t answer fan mail. I don’t have time for that. It’s like hundreds of thousands of people who think they’re going to become millionaires getting autographs from movie actors. I don’t have time for those idiots. I’ve got stuff to do.
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People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
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I wanted to be a doctor once upon a time, but it turns out you’ve got to study, and that wasn’t going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had trouble holding jobs because they want you to be on time. That wasn’t going to work.
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And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field.
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I think romance basically starts with respect. And new romance always starts with respect. Like the song ‘Love the One You’re With’; there is something to that. It’s not just make love to whomever you’re with, it’s just love whomever you’re with.
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You have to be as light as you can be and not get weighed down and stuck in your emotion, stuck in your body, stuck in your head. You just want to always be trying to elevate somehow.
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Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.
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And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
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So far, I’ve only sailed in the Caribbean. I’ve sailed the Virgin Island and The Grenadines. I liked all that. We charted some really crummy boats in the Grenadines. That made for an exciting sailing trip (laughs) when everything goes well.
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He’s going on and on and on, and finally he stops. It’s just total horror, and the camera’s still rolling. You can hear it, sort of a grinding noise. And the director says, “Anything else, Bud?”
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The last thing I want is to be (in a film role) is obvious, direct and offensive.
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When I was a little kid playing baseball, my manager called me Sleepy. And only a few people, who know me from way, way back, call me that still. I used to drift off and that’s why they made me the catcher, so I wouldn’t fall asleep. That gift I have still.
BILL MURRAY