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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.

Bill Hicks

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Good Life Smoking
See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you’ve got the money!
BILL HICKS

Country Expression United States
How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we’re all one?
BILL HICKS

Arm Justify Ones Realize
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’
BILL HICKS

Dad Funny Motivational
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
BILL HICKS

Law Marijuana Mistakes Positivity
How would you like to get inside that guy’s mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn’t he?
BILL HICKS

Around Glance Guy Look
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKS

Country Light Thinking
I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country…
BILL HICKS

Country Happened Law Mushrooms
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
BILL HICKS

Believe Humanity Ideas Revolutionary
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
BILL HICKS

Marijuana Mistake Weed
I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
BILL HICKS

Future Historically People Several
I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
BILL HICKS

Australia Party Thinking
Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
BILL HICKS

Ideas Next Revolutionary
I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!
BILL HICKS

Country Mean Most Surprise
That’s why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you’ve learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
BILL HICKS

Drug Facts Make Psychedelic Realize
I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
BILL HICKS

Eight Night Sleep

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.

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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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