Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
BILL HICKSSTRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!
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May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
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You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
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You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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Marijuana grows naturally…Don’t you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don’t know, unnatural?
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BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
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Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.
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I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself – to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
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I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.
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I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side.
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I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin’ [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] ‘good evening everybody, remember me, smoking’s bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww.
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I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
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Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
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I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’
BILL HICKS