Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren’t partyin’.
BILL HICKSSTRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.
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Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
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I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
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I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul
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…love rather than fear…this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope…surely there is hope for us all.
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We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
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I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
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Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
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I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
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I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
BILL HICKS