How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
BILL HICKSWhat before seemed a…frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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God has this…hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.
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They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
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People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
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I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns.
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I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country…
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
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Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
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What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
BILL HICKS