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I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.

Bill Hicks

People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn’t have, seeing as it’s being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
BILL HICKS

Bemusement Country People Running
I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
BILL HICKS

Eight Night Sleep
…I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An ‘avenging GOD’? One who created Hell for those who don’t believe?
BILL HICKS

Beliefs Children Religion Sorry Superstitious
Why is pot against the law? It wouldn’t be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can’t make a profit off it, would it?
BILL HICKS

Anyone Law Pot Profit
We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
BILL HICKS

Creative Creativity Evolution
Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
BILL HICKS

Cancer Disease Heart Seriously
Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
BILL HICKS

Drug Funny Humor
Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Murder
But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It’s no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
BILL HICKS

Miracle Sex Wonderful
I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong?’ Nothing. ‘Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.’ Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
BILL HICKS

Alone Funny Humor Knowledge People
You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
BILL HICKS

Hate Ideas Thinking
I’ve learned a lot about women. I think I’ve learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we’ll never age.
BILL HICKS

Dream Exactly Fall Learned Men Women
I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
BILL HICKS

Light Middlemen Mind Source
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
BILL HICKS

Jobs People Vote
The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.
BILL HICKS

Dream Jeans Three
Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
BILL HICKS

Law Made Natural

I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.

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I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.

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