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  • Bill Burr Quote - Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.
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Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.

Bill Burr

More Bill Burr Quotes

  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.

    I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - When you say, “there’s no reason [to hit a woman]” that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, “there’s no reason,” you cut out the build-up and you’re just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don’t figure it out?

    When you say, “there’s no reason [to hit a woman]” that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, “there’s no reason,” you cut out the build-up and you’re just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don’t figure it out?

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I’m always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn’t get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what’s bugging me.

    I’m always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn’t get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what’s bugging me.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - There’s a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone in an hour. If we had that ability, the art would not be legal. It would too dangerous.

    There’s a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone in an hour. If we had that ability, the art would not be legal. It would too dangerous.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.

    Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - ou’re in control of your brain. When your brain is sending you bad information or bad thoughts, you can decide to go to the gym, or write a new joke – or if you’re on the road, go to a ball game…

    ou’re in control of your brain. When your brain is sending you bad information or bad thoughts, you can decide to go to the gym, or write a new joke – or if you’re on the road, go to a ball game…

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - It’s just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no.

    It’s just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - As much as Metallica rocked, they always had these song names… ‘The Thing That Shouldn’t Be’. ‘The Chair That Wasn’t There’, you know?

    As much as Metallica rocked, they always had these song names… ‘The Thing That Shouldn’t Be’. ‘The Chair That Wasn’t There’, you know?

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I think it’s a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show.

    I think it’s a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I was scared to death because for the comics of my generation, HBO specials are like the pinnacle. I’m thinking of all these unbelievable comedians I’ve seen on HBO: Chris Rock, George Carlin, Damon Wayans, Richard Pryor and Billy Crystal.

    I was scared to death because for the comics of my generation, HBO specials are like the pinnacle. I’m thinking of all these unbelievable comedians I’ve seen on HBO: Chris Rock, George Carlin, Damon Wayans, Richard Pryor and Billy Crystal.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, ‘You know what? We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office, but we don’t want you to look at anybody.

    You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, ‘You know what? We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office, but we don’t want you to look at anybody.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I don’t mind it. I just space it out. Every other week I go out. I used to get some time to myself but I’ve been pretty busy lately. But I’ve had it the other way, where I’m staring at the phone waiting for it to ring, so this is definitely better.

    I don’t mind it. I just space it out. Every other week I go out. I used to get some time to myself but I’ve been pretty busy lately. But I’ve had it the other way, where I’m staring at the phone waiting for it to ring, so this is definitely better.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him.

    Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people. Download This Image

    I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.

    If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

    Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I am so pro-swine flu it’s – it’s like ridiculous.

    I am so pro-swine flu it’s – it’s like ridiculous.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.

    You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It’s not like Stonehenge which looks great in books but then you go there and it’s a pile of rocks next to a highway. There’s actually a highway right next to it, but you don’t see that in pictures. Download This Image

    Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It’s not like Stonehenge which looks great in books but then you go there and it’s a pile of rocks next to a highway. There’s actually a highway right next to it, but you don’t see that in pictures.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes “no you didn’t feature, you co-hosted”. He literally invented a term so he didn’t have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!

    I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes “no you didn’t feature, you co-hosted”. He literally invented a term so he didn’t have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I’ve battled with that type of stuff, but what I’ve found is that by doing stand-up, I’ve actually learned about depression and how to combat it. I don’t have clinical, but I’ve definitely had my bouts with it.

    I’ve battled with that type of stuff, but what I’ve found is that by doing stand-up, I’ve actually learned about depression and how to combat it. I don’t have clinical, but I’ve definitely had my bouts with it.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you’ve gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman’s motherly instincts.

    I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you’ve gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman’s motherly instincts.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I’ve found is that by doing stand-up, I’ve actually learned how to combat depression. I don’t have clinical, but I’ve definitely had my bouts with it. I just figured out that it’s a choice. Y

    I’ve found is that by doing stand-up, I’ve actually learned how to combat depression. I don’t have clinical, but I’ve definitely had my bouts with it. I just figured out that it’s a choice. Y

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - It’s better to just plough ahead. And if I say something they don’t get, I just make fun of myself for assuming that everybody knows everything about where I live.

    It’s better to just plough ahead. And if I say something they don’t get, I just make fun of myself for assuming that everybody knows everything about where I live.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.

    What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, ‘What do you think you’re doing!’ The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could. Download This Image

    Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, ‘What do you think you’re doing!’ The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I started having a panic attack seeing my name in that list of people. It was pretty overwhelming.

    I started having a panic attack seeing my name in that list of people. It was pretty overwhelming.

    BILL BURR