I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
BILL BURRMy parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to find a guy who’s logged more hours than that guy.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I’ve never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it’s been awesome to work with them. I’m very happy where we’re at.
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Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.
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You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can’t believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.
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I’m not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
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We need a plague. It’s gotta happen. And don’t worry, it’s only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you’re gonna be fine! We gotta let mother nature do her thing, man. She keeps trying to help us out and we won’t let her do it.
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The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for office, that may be the one that comes back and haunts me.
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I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.
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You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, ‘You know what? We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office, but we don’t want you to look at anybody.
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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
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As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go.
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Any other town you go to there’s this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder.
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For aspiring comedians? Don’t listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
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If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get a mortgage I get a tax break. I don’t have any kids and I drive a hybrid, I think I should get a tax break.
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It’s just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no.
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My neighbor’s not even listening to me. He’s all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He’s convinced it was designed by NASA. “Actually, it’s got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the…”
BILL BURR