I’ve had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
BILL BURRGold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
More Bill Burr Quotes
-
-
So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.
BILL BURR -
If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get a mortgage I get a tax break. I don’t have any kids and I drive a hybrid, I think I should get a tax break.
BILL BURR -
Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He’s the coolest. I’ve never met The Rock though.
BILL BURR -
Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.
BILL BURR -
Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.
BILL BURR -
Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?
BILL BURR -
Like when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.
BILL BURR -
You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.
BILL BURR -
You know, it wasn’t even that I’m a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I’d be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
BILL BURR -
Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I’ve never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it’s been awesome to work with them. I’m very happy where we’re at.
BILL BURR -
I don’t think people know what hygienist means.
BILL BURR -
I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.
BILL BURR -
I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
BILL BURR -
If you’re on social media as a performer you can tell. If you don’t get any Tweets you know it’s bombed. I can pretty much gauge how it’s doing by comparing the reception to shows I’ve done that have actual ratings.
BILL BURR -
As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go.
BILL BURR