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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!

Bill Burr

Related Topics

GoldMenWife

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  My parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to find a guy who’s logged more hours than that guy.

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  As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go.

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  Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it’s a fun place to live.

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  I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of comedy – if they start to like you, they’ll get a project going and call you in.

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  A lot of my fears and anxieties are the fears and anxieties of a six-year-old boy. When I finally confront them, they’re really small.

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  Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.

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  Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.

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  The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for office, that may be the one that comes back and haunts me.

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  If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get a mortgage I get a tax break. I don’t have any kids and I drive a hybrid, I think I should get a tax break.

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  I started having a panic attack seeing my name in that list of people. It was pretty overwhelming.

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  I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.

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  I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don’t. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

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  [I’m] more German than Irish.

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  Once you do a joke and it works it’s only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.

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  I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.

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  I wasn’t the good looking guy, I wasn’t the hot chick, I wasn’t the fat guy, I didn’t have a catchphrase, I didn’t wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

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