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Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!

Bill Burr

Related Topics

GoldMenWife

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  It’s just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no.

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  I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.

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  Once you do a joke and it works it’s only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.

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  Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.

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  If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that’s good for me; I’m good.

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  Something that’s going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.

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  I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.

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  I’m like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him.

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  You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.

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  I am so pro-swine flu… I want it. We need a plague. It’s got to happen; don’t be afraid. It’s only going to kill the weak.

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  Like when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.

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  I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.

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  I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.

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• 

  There’s a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone in an hour. If we had that ability, the art would not be legal. It would too dangerous.

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  There is a very difficult period in a comedian’s career – it’s that window of time where you’re good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.

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  I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.

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