I think it’s a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show.
BILL BURRI wasn’t the good looking guy, I wasn’t the hot chick, I wasn’t the fat guy, I didn’t have a catchphrase, I didn’t wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
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I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I’d like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth or sixth lead, and have three or four killer scenes. You don’t have the responsibility of the entire movie being on you. I like those roles. I’m shooting for the middle.
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I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don’t. The misery will come. The misery will find you.
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We need a plague. It’s gotta happen. And don’t worry, it’s only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you’re gonna be fine! We gotta let mother nature do her thing, man. She keeps trying to help us out and we won’t let her do it.
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If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you’re from and some of the thought processes.
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Some guy workin’ at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can’t do it, because whores don’t care about lumber.
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My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn’t be funny, but to observe it, it’s hilarious.
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I mean, stand up you’re by yourself and it’s live and when you’re acting, unless you’re doing a monologue, you’re interacting with somebody else. Even if you’re doing a monologue you’re saying it to somebody and it’s not live so you can do it a few times.
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So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.
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I was scared to death because for the comics of my generation, HBO specials are like the pinnacle. I’m thinking of all these unbelievable comedians I’ve seen on HBO: Chris Rock, George Carlin, Damon Wayans, Richard Pryor and Billy Crystal.
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I don’t mind either one [crowd that is more willing to interact or crowd that’s more ready to just watch]. Both of them are forms of listening to what I’m saying so I can’t ask for any more than that.
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You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, ‘You know what? We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office, but we don’t want you to look at anybody.
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What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.
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I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
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I have fun doing movies, I’ve had fun doing the animated show, and I certainly have fun doing standup. Even that, even though it’s just me talking, it’s also interaction with the crowd.
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You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.
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It’s a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There’s good things and bad things.
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Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?
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It’s just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no.
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People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you’re a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is “looking for”. Just say what you think is funny. .
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I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.
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There’s no “brothers” when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don’t care about each other. He’s not my brother; my brother lives in Ohio – I don’t know that guy.
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London was like that too. It was that time of year when all the rich kids with the oil money have their cars shipped over.
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You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.
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Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.
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I don’t think people know what hygienist means.
BILL BURR