It’s a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There’s good things and bad things.
BILL BURRDeny your emotions and act like you have answers
More Bill Burr Quotes
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I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.
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I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.
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I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don’t like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it’s good.
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[I’m] more German than Irish.
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I’ve had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
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Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him.
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Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It’s not like Stonehenge which looks great in books but then you go there and it’s a pile of rocks next to a highway. There’s actually a highway right next to it, but you don’t see that in pictures.
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I am so pro-swine flu… I want it. We need a plague. It’s got to happen; don’t be afraid. It’s only going to kill the weak.
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Something that’s going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
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If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get a mortgage I get a tax break. I don’t have any kids and I drive a hybrid, I think I should get a tax break.
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Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?
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When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It’s always been high quality stuff coming out of there.
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Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.
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My parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to find a guy who’s logged more hours than that guy.
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If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
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