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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.

Bill Burr

Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It’s not like Stonehenge which looks great in books but then you go there and it’s a pile of rocks next to a highway. There’s actually a highway right next to it, but you don’t see that in pictures.
BILL BURR

Book Looks Rocks
Deny your emotions and act like you have answers
BILL BURR

Answers Emotion Like You
Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.
BILL BURR

Gun Pet Pitbull
Like I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a Pulitzer prize for journalism and will put that level of weight on it, like they’re an ambassador to some country we’re trying to establish trade with.
BILL BURR

Country Guy Media
There’s no “brothers” when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don’t care about each other. He’s not my brother; my brother lives in Ohio – I don’t know that guy.
BILL BURR

Brother Funny
Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.
BILL BURR

Appreciate Dog Dream
Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I’m yelling?
BILL BURR

People Week Yelling
I never wanted to spend a month away from my life. One time I was out on the road for three weeks in a row and I when I came back someone had broken into my apartment and the water had evaporated from the toilet.
BILL BURR

Broken Three Water
Well probably the coolest show of that whole tour was in Germany. I had a chunk of material on [Adolf] Hitler, and I was worried about how they’d react, but they loved it.
BILL BURR

Coolest Country Shows Worried
Something that’s going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
BILL BURR

Issue Rabbit Role Something Though Women
The greatest comebacks ever – watching [Donald Trump] get the nomination for the Republican Party is the most astounding thing I’ve ever seen.
BILL BURR

Astounding Ever Greatest Republican Seen
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are really talented and scared to follow their talent because you don’t know where it’s going.
BILL BURR

Giving People School
I enjoy collaborating with other people.
BILL BURR

Collaborating Enjoy People
Don’t be a jerk to other comics and don’t let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you’re going to get somewhere.
BILL BURR

Ass Jerk Positive Stay
I’ve had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
BILL BURR

Great Gun Shooting Time
If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that’s good for me; I’m good.
BILL BURR

Car Clubs Crap Play

My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.

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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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