“If you get into a Broadway show and it doesn’t work, you’re a failure. And if it does work, you may be stuck for who knows how long. It just doesn’t sound great to me!”

It’s fun once in a while to do a serious part but I really enjoy doing comedy because I love to laugh.

I think older women still have a full life.

I don’t know where I learned elephants like their tongues slapped. Whatever turns you on.

I’ve enjoyed the opposite sex a lot. Always have. Always will.

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it’s got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can’t just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that – it’s got to be funny.

I enjoy being busy, I really do. Remember, I’m the stub end of the railroad. I have no family, so I’m not taking busy time away from people that I should be spending it with. So I’m just relaxing and enjoying it.

I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It’s that simple.

I have the backbone of an eel.

It’s been phenomenal, but everybody keeps congratulating me on my resurgence and my big comeback. I haven’t been away, guys. I’ve been working steadily for the last 63 years.

When we started in television, there was that magic box in the corner of the room, and ‘Oh my gosh – look what it’s doing!’

I really don’t care with whom you sleep. I just care what kind of a decent human being you are.

During the Depression, my dad made radios to sell to make extra money. Nobody had any money to buy the radios, so he would trade them for dogs. He built kennels in the backyard, and he cared for the dogs.

I stayed in show business to pay for my animal business.

The writers are the stars of every really successful sitcom.

A lady likes to be complimented on her looks, her eyes, her figure. But the personality comments are much appreciated.

I don’t get political.

Don’t be afraid of failure. This is the way to succeed.

A failure teaches you that something can’t be done-that way.

I don’t want the fear of failure to stop me from doing what I really care about.

You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena: whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.

Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.

If a financial institution is too big to fail, it is too big to exist.