“It’s a different world now: Stars come and go quickly, and there are so many of them. I read a statistic that all the record companies combined used to put out around 3,000 albums in a year. Now they put out something like 30,000!”

Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.

Even if the whole human race dies off because we keep fighting and killing each other and being heartless, the planet will take care of itself. Eventually, after millions of years.

Total contentment is only for cows.

If you’re passionate about something, then you should pick up your flag and run with it.

A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I’ve chosen not to be.

The outside world doesn’t have a lot to offer. You have to make your own heaven in your own home.

There’s a kind of emotional exploration you plumb with a friend that you don’t really do with your family.

I’m mad about God! That’s why I’m divine.

If I don’t feel right about what I’m in, I don’t feel right about anything.

[On Denmark:] … that little country of cottage cheese and courage.

I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

The [film] business is run by men, and they’re basically interested in their own species, and they’re not so interested in women belonging to the human race.

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.

I believe that Judy Garland’s artistry was so fine. I mean, when people say: ‘oh, she brought so much of her life to her music’, I don’t really believe that. I believe that she didn’t have to. She just was a moving human being. That was her gift.