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Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

Bette Midler

I want to have fun, and I want to give people a good laugh.
BETTE MIDLER

Fun Giving People
When it’s time to shuffle off this mortal coil, you leave your ashes to be composted.
BETTE MIDLER

Ashes Mortals Shuffle
Sometimes you have to make your own opportunities, and that’s why I’m on TV. I wasn’t going to sit around anymore, waiting for the damn phone to ring. I had to create my own place – I’ve always done that.
BETTE MIDLER

Opportunity Phones Waiting
A lot of people started drinking martinis and smoking cigarettes because they felt it was cool.
BETTE MIDLER

Cigarettes Cool Smoking
You have to think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you’re not.
BETTE MIDLER

Bread Sliced Thinking
Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD’s on and hit play and random things come out.
BETTE MIDLER

Brain Play Random
Marriage is such hard work. And it’s full of rage and real human drama.
BETTE MIDLER

Drama Hard Work Real
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Hilarious Love
If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.
BETTE MIDLER

Laugh Laughing Slave
When I finally did stop and look at my life, I realized that I had done what I’d set out to do. In my pitiful little way, I had climbed the mountain I had chosen. And there I was, on top.
BETTE MIDLER

Done Looks Mountain
Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reeds. Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your heart to bleed. Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need. I say love, it is a flower and you, its only seed.
BETTE MIDLER

Flower Heart River
Do you want to live and work in a garbage dump? I don’t. That’s partly because I grew up in the most pristine environment possible – Hawaii, where it is sacrilege to leave your garbage on the ground.
BETTE MIDLER

Dump Garbage Possible Wanted
All these rumors about [Tom Cruise] being gay. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it for one minute. He hasn’t been to one of my shows.
BETTE MIDLER

Believe Gay Rumor
I love nature, in spite of what it did to me.
BETTE MIDLER

Nature Love Spite
My daughter very independent. But if she’s upset about something, she will absolutely let me know. She’s great – a real tough cookie.
BETTE MIDLER

Daughter Independent Real
My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.
BETTE MIDLER

Cleaning Ideas Superwoman

Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

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Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

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Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes