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I’ve always said we got married because there was nothing on TV.

Bette Midler

Unfortunately, every time there’s a budget crunch in New York, the Parks Department is usually the first to be cut. So they need all the help they can get.
BETTE MIDLER

Country Cutting Parks
I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.
BETTE MIDLER

Bears Grudge Mind
It is true that in this culture, they throw you out when you get older. I see it all the time, especially in my business. At my age, you’re playing somebody’s mother – and there aren’t even a lot of those roles!
BETTE MIDLER

Age Culture Mother
The inventor of the modern foundation garment that we women wear today was a German scientist and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling.
BETTE MIDLER

Foundation Names Opera
If they [at the audition] don’t like the way you sound they won’t buy you anyway, ripped dress or no ripped dress, ass hanging out or no ass hanging out.
BETTE MIDLER

Dresses Sound Way
Everyone goes through their winters and springs, and their summers and autumns.
BETTE MIDLER

Autumn Spring Summer
I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Humorous Memorable
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
If you’re frightened, you’re out of luck.
BETTE MIDLER

Frightened Luck Out
My parents have not insisted that we go to college, but she wanted us to learn. Teacher, librarian, secretary, nurse. All my siblings were employed. But I wanted to be the boss, an independent contractor.
BETTE MIDLER

Independent Sibling Teacher
I think most of us are torn. We have at least two people at war in our body. One person wants to retire and grow fabulous tomatoes, and the other wants to stand up on a pedestal and be worshipped and get bigger and bigger and bigger until she explodes.
BETTE MIDLER

Thinking Two War
I loved the photographs of people wearing elaborate makeup and costumes – they really pulled at me inside. I was in that library every week for years, until I was about 13. I had a rich interior life, because I didn’t have much of a social life.
BETTE MIDLER

Books Costumes Love Photograph Until
The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.
BETTE MIDLER

Birth Giving Virgins
Previously, the jokes were more related to current issues, political. Today people make about each other either funny or about people like Kim Kardashian. It’s brutal. Everything is so much vielschmutziger.
BETTE MIDLER

Brutal People Previously Today
I read a comment that made me think I should stop singing for a while. And I didn’t want to stop singing, because it was the only thing I loved. At first I thought,
BETTE MIDLER

Please Singing Thinking
Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.
BETTE MIDLER

Book Country Horse

I’ve always said we got married because there was nothing on TV.

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I’ve always said we got married because there was nothing on TV.

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Popular Authors

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