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I’m so glad to be back in New York. Los Angeles can be so cold, so cruel after you’ve been-what’s the word?-oh yes: ‘fired.’

Bette Midler

Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.
BETTE MIDLER

Brain Fit Men
I fear for the future of the planet. But in a funny way, I’m even sanguine about that.
BETTE MIDLER

Planets Sanguine Way
A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I’ve chosen not to be.
BETTE MIDLER

Bigger Life People
Marriage is such hard work. And it’s full of rage and real human drama.
BETTE MIDLER

Drama Hard Work Real
A lot of people started drinking martinis and smoking cigarettes because they felt it was cool.
BETTE MIDLER

Cigarettes Cool Smoking
I’ve always been lucky enough to have great audiences. It has been quite a life.
BETTE MIDLER

Audience Enough Lucky
Just because people don’t meet you doesn’t mean they’re not out there breaking their asses trying to get around.
BETTE MIDLER

Mean People Trying
People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.
BETTE MIDLER

Best Hard People Work
If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.
BETTE MIDLER

Laugh Laughing Slave
The inventor of the modern foundation garment that we women wear today was a German scientist and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling.
BETTE MIDLER

Foundation Names Opera
It’s a different world now: Stars come and go quickly, and there are so many of them. I read a statistic that all the record companies combined used to put out around 3,000 albums in a year. Now they put out something like 30,000!
BETTE MIDLER

Different Stars Years
In a marriage, you struggle and struggle and struggle, and then you realize that you have to ride the horse in the direction it’s going. You stop trying to pull the reins in another direction.
BETTE MIDLER

Horse Struggle Trying
I read a comment that made me think I should stop singing for a while. And I didn’t want to stop singing, because it was the only thing I loved. At first I thought,
BETTE MIDLER

Please Singing Thinking
Sometimes, when I wake up, my soul is in another city!
BETTE MIDLER

Cities Sometimes Soul Wake
I’m the last of the truly tacky women. I do trash with flash and sleaze with ease.
BETTE MIDLER

Easy Lasts Tacky
When I read that, I burst into tears. It was so generous and so basic. Not fluffy. I can’t understand why we scrimp on education and shortchange our kids. Why would the citizenry do that to the people who are going to inherit its republic?
BETTE MIDLER

Country Generous Kids Shortchange Understand

I’m so glad to be back in New York. Los Angeles can be so cold, so cruel after you’ve been-what’s the word?-oh yes: ‘fired.’

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I’m so glad to be back in New York. Los Angeles can be so cold, so cruel after you’ve been-what’s the word?-oh yes: ‘fired.’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes