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I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.

Bernie Mac

If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don’t be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.
BERNIE MAC

Blame Remember Self
I’ve never been no superficial cat.
BERNIE MAC

Been Cat No Superficial
I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.
BERNIE MAC

Comedian Dresses Everything Fun
I can act. I’ve been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don’t nobody owe you nothing. You’ve go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don’t go from M to Z.
BERNIE MAC

Acting All Anything Long Pay
As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets – but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.
BERNIE MAC

Gang Growing Kind Men Up
Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.
BERNIE MAC

Made Stand
I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.
BERNIE MAC

Guy Like People Quality
When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.
BERNIE MAC

Mind Onstage Pressure Want
I’m so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.
BERNIE MAC

Black Coal Fingerprints
It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, ‘Why am I so black?’ And she said, ‘Because I’m black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.’
BERNIE MAC

Dark Hard Heart Mom Rough Work
If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.
BERNIE MAC

Bigger Laughing Stories
You can’t change what happened. Just like you can’t change the future by worrying about it. You just have to keep moving.
BERNIE MAC

Like Moving Worry You
I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
BERNIE MAC

Able Discipline Gun Machine Onwer
I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’
BERNIE MAC

Directly Frustrated Manual Mistake Selfish
America…Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch…My James Brown.
BERNIE MAC

Country Party Rap School Touch
You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Food Night Nine

I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.

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I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.

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