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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.

Bennett Cerf

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
BENNETT CERF

Football Men Years
Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Speech
Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
BENNETT CERF

Age Birthday Middle
The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
BENNETT CERF

Age Peace War
One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
BENNETT CERF

Book Country Matter
For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
BENNETT CERF

Beautiful Laughing Sound
One of the troubles of the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.
BENNETT CERF

Education School Teaching
Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Soup
Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
BENNETT CERF

Crazy Fame Madness
Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
BENNETT CERF

Believe Discovery Soul
I think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
BENNETT CERF

Fun People Thinking
In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
BENNETT CERF

Crazy Poetry Writing
Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
BENNETT CERF

Gross Ignorance Ordinary
TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
BENNETT CERF

Country Independent Urges
Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
BENNETT CERF

Art Deep Teaching Thought
There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERF

College Teaching Today

I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.

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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.

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