Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
BENNETT CERFI don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
More Bennett Cerf Quotes
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There is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren’t watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
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The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
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Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
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There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
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The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
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One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
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The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
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Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
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For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
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Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
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Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
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The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
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Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERF