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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.

Bennett Cerf

Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
BENNETT CERF

Book Home Teenager
There is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren’t watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
BENNETT CERF

Else Nothing People Television
The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
BENNETT CERF

Blessed Happiness Laughter
Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
BENNETT CERF

Age Birthday Middle
There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERF

College Teaching Today
The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
BENNETT CERF

Detroit Lasts Night
Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
BENNETT CERF

Fog Politician Ships
One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
BENNETT CERF

Book Country Matter
The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
BENNETT CERF

Differences Effectiveness Ghost Stories
Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
BENNETT CERF

Art Deep Teaching Thought
For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
BENNETT CERF

Beautiful Laughing Sound
Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
BENNETT CERF

Football Men Years
Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
BENNETT CERF

Crazy Fame Madness
Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Speech
The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
BENNETT CERF

Age Peace War
Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Soup

I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.

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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.

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