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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

Bennett Cerf

Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
BENNETT CERF

Gross Ignorance Ordinary
Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Soup
The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
BENNETT CERF

Blessed Happiness Laughter
I think the right to read, is one of our inherent rights, and I think that people in America today are intelligent enough to decide for themselves what they want to read. Without being told, by self-appointed people, you must not read this, or you cannot read this.
BENNETT CERF

Intelligent Rights Thinking
Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Speech
There is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren’t watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
BENNETT CERF

Else Nothing People Television
I think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
BENNETT CERF

Fun People Thinking
Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
BENNETT CERF

Fog Politician Ships
One of the troubles of the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.
BENNETT CERF

Education School Teaching
I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
BENNETT CERF

God Love Shutter
TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
BENNETT CERF

Country Independent Urges
Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
BENNETT CERF

Crazy Fame Madness
There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERF

College Teaching Today
Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
BENNETT CERF

Age Birthday Middle
For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
BENNETT CERF

Beautiful Laughing Sound
Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
BENNETT CERF

Art Deep Teaching Thought

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

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Popular Authors

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