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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

Bennett Cerf

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERF

College Teaching Today
Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
BENNETT CERF

Fog Politician Ships
I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
BENNETT CERF

God Love Shutter
TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
BENNETT CERF

Country Independent Urges
In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
BENNETT CERF

Crazy Poetry Writing
I think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
BENNETT CERF

Fun People Thinking
One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
BENNETT CERF

Book Country Matter
Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
BENNETT CERF

Art Deep Teaching Thought
The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
BENNETT CERF

Differences Effectiveness Ghost Stories
Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
BENNETT CERF

Gross Ignorance Ordinary
For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
BENNETT CERF

Beautiful Laughing Sound
There is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren’t watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
BENNETT CERF

Else Nothing People Television
Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Soup
Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Speech
The fact that we don’t read more books in America can be traced squarely to the fact that we have newspapers that are about a hundred times as big as the newspapers anywhere else.
BENNETT CERF

Book Country Facts
The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
BENNETT CERF

Blessed Happiness Laughter

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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