Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
BENNETT CERFThere is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren’t watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
More Bennett Cerf Quotes
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One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
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The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
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In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
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Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
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There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
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TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
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The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
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The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
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Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
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I think the right to read, is one of our inherent rights, and I think that people in America today are intelligent enough to decide for themselves what they want to read. Without being told, by self-appointed people, you must not read this, or you cannot read this.
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Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
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For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
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