Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
BENNETT CERFOratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
More Bennett Cerf Quotes
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I think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
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One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
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The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
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TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
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I think the right to read, is one of our inherent rights, and I think that people in America today are intelligent enough to decide for themselves what they want to read. Without being told, by self-appointed people, you must not read this, or you cannot read this.
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Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
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There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
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Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
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Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
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The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
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Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
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Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
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The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
BENNETT CERF