The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
BENNETT CERFThe Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
BENNETT CERFThe fact that we don’t read more books in America can be traced squarely to the fact that we have newspapers that are about a hundred times as big as the newspapers anywhere else.
BENNETT CERFIn a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
BENNETT CERFMost of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
BENNETT CERFThere is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren’t watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
BENNETT CERFI think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
BENNETT CERFFootball season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
BENNETT CERFGross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
BENNETT CERFThe fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
BENNETT CERFThere once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERFDo I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
BENNETT CERFI don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
BENNETT CERFGood manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERFTV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
BENNETT CERFFor me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
BENNETT CERFThe Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
BENNETT CERF