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Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.

Bennett Cerf

I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
BENNETT CERF

God Love Shutter
Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
BENNETT CERF

Art Deep Teaching Thought
In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
BENNETT CERF

Crazy Poetry Writing
TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
BENNETT CERF

Country Independent Urges
Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Speech
There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERF

College Teaching Today
Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
BENNETT CERF

Believe Discovery Soul
The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
BENNETT CERF

Age Peace War
Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
BENNETT CERF

Fog Politician Ships
Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
BENNETT CERF

Book Home Teenager
The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
BENNETT CERF

Detroit Lasts Night
The fact that we don’t read more books in America can be traced squarely to the fact that we have newspapers that are about a hundred times as big as the newspapers anywhere else.
BENNETT CERF

Book Country Facts
The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
BENNETT CERF

Differences Effectiveness Ghost Stories
Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
BENNETT CERF

Football Men Years
Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERF

Cooking Food Soup
Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
BENNETT CERF

Age Birthday Middle

Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.

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Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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