That which does not kill us has to get up extra early in the morning if it wants to get us next time.
BEN AARONOVITCHThis I know for a fact: the reason African women have children is so that there’s someone else to do the housework.
More Ben Aaronovitch Quotes
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What do you think you’re doing?
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The study of the victim is called victimology because everything sounds better with and ology tacked on the end.
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Carved above the lintel were the words SCIENTIA POTESTAS EST. Science points east, I wondered? Science is portentous, yes? Science protests too much. Scientific potatoes rule. Had I stumbled on the lair of dangerous plant geneticists?
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Coffee arrived and the espresso was excellent, like an aromatic electric fence.
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And once they start to think about the consequences, they almost always calm down. Unless they’re drunk, of course. Or stoned. Or aged between fourteen and twenty-one. Or Glaswegian.
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What frustrated me was the thought that with three thousand years of history someone in China, some monk in a monastery halfway up a mountain, must have developed a magic kata.
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This I know for a fact: the reason African women have children is so that there’s someone else to do the housework.
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Landscaping is the great cardinal sin of modern architecture. It’s not your garden, it’s not a park – it’s a formless patch of grass, shrubbery and the occasional tree that exists purely to stop the original developer’s plans from looking like a howling concrete wilderness.
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The worst part is staying in the room after you’ve broken the news, so that you’re forced to be there when someone’s life disintegrates around them. Some people say it doesn’t bother them – such people are not to be trusted.
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On the plus side, there were no rioters in sight but on the minus side this was probably because everywhere I looked was on fire.
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If you find yourself talking to the police, my advice is to stay calm but look guilty; it’s your safest bet.
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The fact that it was entirely possible for someone to be all three simultaneously is why good-Samaritanism in London is considered an extreme sport – like BASE jumping or crocodile wrestling.
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My dad once told me that the secret to a happy life was never to start something with a girl unless you were willing to follow wherever it led. It’s the best piece of advice he has ever given me, and probably the reason I was born.
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Holy paranormal activity, Nightingale – to the Jag mobile.
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If you ask any police officer what the worst part of the job is, they will always say breaking bad news to relatives, but this is not the truth.
BEN AARONOVITCH