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one day I’ll be old, without ever having really been young

Beatrice Sparks

She didn’t know whether she was running away from something or running to something, but she admitted that deep in her heart she wanted to go home.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Heart Home Running
one day I’ll be old, without ever having really been young
BEATRICE SPARKS

Old One Day Young
I’ve got to sleep. Sleep is my only way to escape.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Escape Sleep Way
I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Expectations Like Measure
I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Maybe Lewis G Carroll was on drugs too.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Drug Feels Wonderland
I bet the pill is harder to get than drugs–which shows how screwed up this world really is!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Drugs Harder Pills Show World
I would like to stay stoned all the time, it scares me it’s so good. I would like to stay stoned every minute of every day for the rest of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Good Life Minutes Rest Scare
This morning when I left Mom’s parting words were, “Come straight home after school.” Wow! Like I’m going to get stoned at 3:30—it doesn’t sound so bad at that.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Home Mom Morning
They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Important Individual Personality Something
Alone. The saddest word in the world.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Saddest World
How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Embarrassed Function Miserable
I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Humanity Small Parts
How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Physical Thought
Sometimes fantasies are better than life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Better Fantasy Life Sometimes
I’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Fragmented Lost Shattered
I pretend I’ve got lots of confidence and I’m a big jock and like that but deep inside I’m a frightened, insecure, can’t-make-it failure.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Frightened Insecure Jocks

one day I’ll be old, without ever having really been young

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one day I’ll be old, without ever having really been young

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