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Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.

Barry Humphries

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Country Sheep Thinking
I’ve decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don’t, if you put them first, they never thank you. You’ll never get a word of thanks from them.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

First Lasts Secret
I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, you know; it’s very comfortable and dependable.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Art Past Thinking
My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Army Children Parent
There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Comedian Fate Seriously Taken Terrible
If you can’t laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Century Joke Laughing Missing
The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Defend Matter Spoken Truth
I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Body Bother Hair Men Some Women
The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Best Delightful Live Past Place
I’m an immensely shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Desire Husbands Women
Friendship is tested in the thick years of success rather than in the thin years of struggle.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Struggle Thick Years
My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Friendship Funny Mom
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that’s only a recent development.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Country Funny Humor
Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Humor Laughing Memorable
I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Funny Laughing Priceless
I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Athletic Contemporaries Coronary Golf Occlusion

Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.

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Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.

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