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I love Australia – I think.

Barry Humphries

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Country Sheep Thinking
I’ve decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don’t, if you put them first, they never thank you. You’ll never get a word of thanks from them.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

First Lasts Secret
To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one’s mother.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Mother Night Party
If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Explain Give Up might Satire
I’m an immensely shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Desire Husbands Women
I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Funny Laughing Priceless
The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Defend Matter Spoken Truth
I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Athletic Contemporaries Coronary Golf Occlusion
Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Beautiful Men Secretary Sex Thing
Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Harbor Nature Pearls
He’s very, very well-known. I’d say he’s world-famous in Melbourne.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Known Luck Well World
It’s an old Aboriginal word meaning ‘Let’s get together and have fun’. They gave us the word because they had no further need for it.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Fun Needs Together
I like people who are slightly unhygienic. A little grubbiness isn’t so bad. BO chic it should be called.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Bad Chic Little People Unhygienic
My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Friendship Funny Mom
I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Body Bother Hair Men Some Women
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that’s only a recent development.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Country Funny Humor

I love Australia – I think.

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I love Australia – I think.

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